Ok, look, I’m a bystander, right? I always empha­sise the fact that I don’t care about elec­toral pol­i­tics and par­ty pol­i­tics games. I reject them alto­geth­er. I will nev­er both­er with this… muck. So try to under­stand this from my per­spec­tive as some­one who isn’t exact­ly an ene­my to any of them, but also not exact­ly an ally… and not exact­ly indif­fer­ent either.

Think about how these peo­ple and their par­ty fac­tions have been oper­at­ing late­ly. Let’s list them down, actu­al­ly.

MDP: Nasheed is amaz­ing­ly busy defend­ing a lit­er­al cryp­to scam (I can’t be arsed to write about cryp­to-bro dogshit again so here’s my ear­li­er writ­ing on that). I mean, he dou­bled down hard on it! Not to men­tion that for what­ev­er mind-blow­ing rea­son, he thought it’d be a great idea to team up with both Ibu and Yameen, as if (even as far as inter­nal MDP pol­i­tics is con­cerned) peo­ple would see this as some sort of whole­some moment. Huh…? Okay… I guess?

PNF: again, Yameen, Mr. Tharaggee him­self, Mr. holi­er-than-thou, team­ing up with the same par­ty that estab­lished diplo­mat­ic rela­tions with the Zion­ist enti­ty? As if even his own sup­port­ers would think “wow, how prag­mat­ic and smart!” Also, who­ev­er’s organ­is­ing for him clear­ly seems to be try­ing to fail. I mean, I just saw these PNF idiots with yet anoth­er god-damn L sofa on the street while I was rid­ing back home. Are they try­ing to look cringe, or…?

PNC: boy, where do I begin with this one? Bear in mind that the only rea­son these guys seem stu­pid­er than the oth­ers is just because they have access to state resources and finances and the oth­er two don’t. If they did, you’d see an equal amount of… uh, stu­pid. MDP, PNF, PNC — Anni/Ibu/Fayyaz, Yameen, Muiz­zu — dif­fer­ent cheeks, same ass. I’ll go a bit more into this lat­er (since, you know, the green flags are the ones in pow­er, not the yel­low flags or pink flags).

Lis­ten, this isn’t exact­ly a seri­ous ‘analy­sis’, right? Like… how am I sup­posed to take any of these peo­ple and their respec­tive par­ties seri­ous­ly? No, seri­ous­ly. Think about it.

Muiz­zu admin­is­tra­tion has been mak­ing spec­tac­u­lar­ly bad deci­sions one after the oth­er. Ban­ning vapes: high­ly unpop­u­lar with the vape­bros, which… hon­est­ly, might just be most of the 18–25 year olds. Delay on the Israel pass­port ban, and then part­ner­ing with a com­pa­ny that’s lit­er­al­ly encour­ag­ing Israelis to set­tle in the Mal­dives. Ban­ning social media for under 16 year olds. Lit­er­al­ly chal­leng­ing Mau­ri­tius and UK by try­ing to stron­garm them with Cha­gos (and deploy­ing a ship there). His par­ty’s entire Moosy for may­or cam­paign.

It hon­est­ly makes me won­der, you know. I’m left with two con­clu­sions. Either all of these par­ties and who­ev­er’s run­ning the show for them are gen­uine­ly this stu­pid, unable to see the fact that all of them are becom­ing more and more unpop­u­lar with each pass­ing day, unable to realise that their poli­cies are turn­ing most peo­ple against them (dude, over two thirds of the coun­try vot­ed “no” on the ref­er­en­dum. Take a hint??)… or all of them (espe­cial­ly PNC) have some sort of a sabo­teur in their inner ranks delib­er­ate­ly giv­ing them the most looney tunes kind of sug­ges­tions just to trip them up. I’m not sure what they’re get­ting out of it, though, since all of these par­ties seem to be sab­o­tag­ing them­selves. Are you guys like… the Mal­di­vian illu­mi­nati or some­thing? Is there a big­ger joke I’m not get­ting here?

A word of advice to the Muiz­zu admin­is­tra­tion, by the way: how on earth are you going to do author­i­tar­i­an con­trol with­out attain­ing any kind of pop­u­lar recep­tion…? Did you think peo­ple like Hitler, Satanyahu, Trump, Mus­soli­ni, and even Mau­moon were ini­tial­ly hat­ed before they con­sol­i­dat­ed pow­er or some­thing? You know the word “pop­ulism” is close­ly relat­ed to the word “pop­u­lar”, right? Ever heard of unpop­u­lar pop­ulism? No? That’s right, me nei­ther. Every mea­sure you take in that direc­tion — sur­veil­lance, media con­trol, gang bill, what­ev­er — should have come after you’d con­sol­i­dat­ed pow­er, you know? At least try to be prop­er fas­cists if you’re going to do that, because even your own par­ty mem­bers are start­ing to jump ship. It’s not too late for you, stop this mad­ness. ތައުބާވާން އަދިވެސް ފުރުސަތު އެބައިން، އިނގޭތޯ؟